Monday, 8 February 2010

It's sad but it's true....

I’m at less than a month to enter my 30s. For a lot of people that could mean start buying anti-ageing creams, and start saving for Botox and liposuction treatments, or any other middle age crisis symptoms that you can imagine. Not for me, I find that too superficial.

Although your 30s are not, considering the life expectancy, really the middle of your life, they are the middle of your productive life, and the end of your youth in social patterns. You’re not longer a young adult, you’re just an adult entering the race to reach the old age.

It does, however make me think about two things. First of all the goals I have in life and that it seems that I’m running out of time every day. Not long ago I was asked of what I wanted to do before dying, and end up with a list, that includes doing a PhD, publishing a couple of books, record a proper studio based music albums and make some music for a film or documentary, buy a house, adopt a child, travel around the world, and the obvious, have a proper an steady relationship.

To be successful, a lot of those things have to be made in my following decade, but it seems that I don’t have enough time! And that worries me.

It also seems that since I didn’t had a very crazy youth, I have the temptation of doing that kind of stuff now; but on the other hand, if I didn’t do it when I was more immature, why should I go for it now that I’m more aware of the consequences, and the things that give me real joy?

There’s also the society pressure, where it seems that you are doomed to became a single forever if you didn’t manage to get a proper relationship on your 20s. On words of Lily Allen, “it’s sad but it’s true how society says her life is already over”. So, living in a society which focus on looks, age and things like that, statistically my chances seem to shrink with every passing day.

So here I am, in the verge of ending my youth, and wondering what I have done with my life and asking myself what is my reason to live? They say that it's not enough to just live. You have to have something to live for. The easy answer will be to achieve the goals I stated before, but to be honest, most of the time I find myself still figuring out which is mine.

2 comments:

Errantus said...

Bueno corazón, quieraslo o no, esto es una evaluación de escala menor, pero que denota parte de la crisis de los tas.

Tener una relación en los veintes o ya no la hiciste... ¿En qué país? Porque a mí debió írseme el tren hace mucho, y ya ves.

¿Para qué vivimos? En parte para aprender ¿o no? Tener ya el objetivo final de la vida elegido suena lindo, pero casi nadie lo tiene claro ni al momento de su muerte. Así que menos tristezas y simplemente da los pasos necesarios para cumplir tus objetivos. Y si miras hacia atras, verás que ya conseguiste algunos muy importantes. Así que no se me achicopale.

Besitos.

Argenta¸ said...

Hi, Aelfarh,

I came upon your blog through OBOD, and found this post very interesting, having celebrated my 30th birthday somewhere around yours.

I've been wondering about something exactly opposite than you: I've done so many things in my life that I'm afraid I've already spent all the "credit" I got for this life. By the time I turned thirty, I finished most of my education, got married, had kids, built a house, found a job I like, been in and out of a religious group or two -- and now I feel as if this is it. I'm afraid I'll never do anything more than what I've already done, and that nothing can be as important as those things I've already achieved (except, perhaps, to finally get a book published ;)). Have you read LOTR? I often remember Eowyn's dread of being shut in a cage, which is much more likely when you have a stable situation that needs so much time and energy to be kept alive and well that none is left for new things.

My fear is that I'm entering a part of my life where changing things will become impossible because so many people now depend on me, and I mustn't let them down. From what I read here, at least you have the opportunity to make all the changes you listed in your life without hurting anyone, and though I understand you have apprehensions about your future, at least you are still rather free, without all the baggage that comes from dreams come true.

In any case, I just wanted to wish you good luck, and I hope you'll have sorted this out by now, or getting near to it.

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