Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Bisexuality, the last frontier

How is it different to say, I will not date you because you're Mexican, to I will not date you because you're bisexual? Would you date an openly bisexual person?

Is it prejudice and discrimination or is it a matter of taste?

 The western society has advance a lot in the last decades, new laws to ensure diversity and inclusion, even some traditionally conservative countries have issue some kind of law in that line.  But society still is far behind for acceptance of the other without prejudice.

 The comparison I made I think it's fair enough, your nationality is not something you choose, but something you are born; your place of birth doesn't make you handsomer, taller, skinny, or ugliest and fat; it doesn't affect your personality, since there are people of all different characteristics in a country, quiet, talkative, funny, serious, religious or atheist.  It doesn't even means that you are of certain race.  To generalize about a nationality is basically the same as generalize about your sexuality.

Are bisexuals that different from heterosexuals and homosexuals? are they mentally sick? are they just confused?  No, is the answer of all those questions.   There are a lot of common misunderstandings about bisexuality, let's review some:

Myth 1, Bisexuals are confused

No, it's people's attitudes to bisexuality that are confused.  Now a days, everyone can accept without big problems that a person can be attracted to another regardless of his/her height, weight, hair colour, race, etc.  So, how is it so difficult to understand that gender is just another quality.

 Myth 2, Bisexuals are promiscuous
Yes, so do heterosexuals and homosexuals.  Promiscuity is something about your personal values and what you decide that you want of a relationship, as their hetero/homo counterparts bisexuals are capable of being in a loyal long term relationship, or not. The sexual orientation doesn’t change anything about it.

Myth 3,  Bisexual guys can’t be masculine and bisexual women can’t be feminine.

If you take a closer look around, you will find that there are more than a few heterosexual guys who are a little bit camp, and homosexual guys who can be very masculine. Role genders are diluting little by little and people are learning to be free and express the way they want.  Bisexuality is not an exception, you surely would find camp and masculine bisexual guys, and feminine and butch bisexual women.

Myth 4, Bisexuals have to be equally attracted to men and women

You don't have to be equally attracted to red-heads and brunettes to be attracted to both, and preferring lettuce to liver doesn't make you a vegetarian, so why do some people insist that "true" bisexuals are exactly and equally attracted to men and women?

Myth 5, Bisexuality is a mental sickness

Several decades ago psychiatrist around the world take homosexuality and bisexuality out of the mental diseases, there’s no evidence or scientific proof of that whatsoever, that remark speaks only of ignorance.

Myth 6, Bisexuals are just homosexuals in denial

Sadly, that remark is very common in both, the heterosexual and the homosexual community, mainly due to the fact that some homosexuals use bisexuality as a façade, to help them through the coming out process.  That has affected a lot people’s opinion about true bisexuality.  But that is not true, bisexuals are not in denial, more than homosexuals are in denial of being heteros, or vice versa.

Myth 7, bisexuality is the “easy option”
As noted before, it isn’t, bisexuals face discrimination from both, the gay and hetero community, even when in some people’s mind there’s the idea that it can be more socially accepted being bisexual, reality and statistics show that is not the case.  Take a look at some statistics as the Stonewall's Workplace Equality Index questionnaire in 2009, to see the reality.

Myth 8, Bisexuals have to date both men and women

Some of us are in happy relationships with one partner, others have multiple relationships and some swap to dating the other sex whenever their current fling ends. Some bisexuals are happily married and raising children. Some bisexuals are single, some are celibate. You do not need to have ever have had sex to be bisexual. Some bisexuals enjoy casual sex, others don’t' have sex outside committed relationships.

Myth 9, Bisexuality is just a phase

Is heterosexuality just a phase?  Why people want to describe the things that they don’t understand as minor mistakes? 

Myth 10, Bisexuals is just to be indecise

There's no indecision!!, Sexuality isn't black and white, the world isn’t black and white, as soon as we can get rid of that silly dualistic mindset that oversimplifies reality, the better

Now, people would still be wondering , what if my Partner Is Bisexual, What Should I Do? Should I leave him/her?  Do I dare to date a bisexual?
Probably one of all of the above myths would cross your mind, is he/her going to be unfaithful, is he/her going to leave me for someone of a different gender?

Well, nothing is for certain, since each person is different, but being bisexual doesn't mean these things, bisexual people can and will be as committed and faithful as any other person with different sexual orientation, no more, no less.

So, if you fancy a boy or a girl, you like his/her character, if you are attracted physically to him/her, then why to miss the chance to find a perfect partner for you, just because some prejudices and myths.

Do you dare to give people a chance regardless of his/her race, nationality or religion? Do you dare to give people a chance if they happen to be bisexuals?

Wednesday, 14 April 2010

The heart asks pleasure first

In the gardens of life, there are times where the sun is reflected in a spring to give a beautiful shrine with one sun above and one below. Those moments fill our senses with pleasure, pleasure that we share with our loved ones, because after all, the heart ask pleasure first.

Let me share these two suns with you:


The heart asks pleasure first
And then, excuse from pain-
And then, those little anodynes
That deaden suffering;

And then, to go to sleep;
And then, if it should be
The will of its Inquisitor,
The liberty to die.

- Emily Dickinson

Wednesday, 7 April 2010

San Patricio

1846, Mexico became invaded by the USA army in the first of many unjust and thinly veiled wars of aggression that the States have held in their blood thirsty history, driven by the Manifest Destiny.  Captain John Riley and a battalion of Irish soldiers abandoned the US army to join the Mexican defence. They fought until the end, when Mexico City was captured, and find their final end in the Battle of Churubusco, alongside the Mexican army , capture only after all their ammunition has been exhausted, and General Pedro Maria Anaya said the historic phrase "If we had ammunition, you will not be here" when asking to surrender their ammunition to the invading army.

Held as heroes by Mexico, St. Patrick's battalion, also known as Los San Patricios, is honoured every St. Patrick's day on the ex-convent of Churubusco, by the Mexican Banda de Gaitas del Batallón de San Patricio (St. Patrick's Uillean Pipes Band).

Some say they united the Mexican side when they realise that the US was doing the same than Britain did to Ireland before, some say it was because their shared religion, others said it was just aventure. But the fact remains that a small Irish battalion try to help Mexico to defend itself from a foreign invasion, the one who cost it half of their territory. And for that Mexico is always grateful.

The chieftains release a new album called San Patricio, on which they tell this story, and honour it with 19 tracks with collaboration of Mexican and Irish musicians.  Lila Dows, Linda Ronstadt, Carlos Nuñez, Chavela Vargas, Los Tigres del Norte, Liam Neeson, Ry cooder, Moya Brennan, the Banda de Gaita del Batallón de San Patricio and the Chieftains deliver us a wonderful piece of music who mixes mexican and irish rythms, songs in spanish, english and gaeilge, mixture of feelings and cultural common ground.

I have always feel that traditional Irish Music and Mexican music, specially the called in spanish "sones" have a lot of common, I will go as far as to say that the sones are the Mexican interpretation of Celtic music. So it was not that hard to me to visualize this mixture, which was really great to hear it at last.

This is wonderful album that should not only be heard by Mexicans and Irish alike, whether with a Guinness or a Tequila, this music celebration is worth to listen for all the ones who like eclecticism in music, and like a good story telling.

"We are the San Patricios, a brave and gallant band
There'll be no white flag flying within this green command
We are the San Patricios, we have but one demand,
To see the Yankees safely home across the Rio Grande

But when in Churubusco we made our final stand
No court of justice  did we have on the land of Uncle Sam
as traitors and deserters of all we will be shot or hang
far from the green green gentle shore across the Rio Grande

We've disappeared from history like footprints in the sand
But our song is in the tumble weeds and our love is in this land
But if in the desert moonlight you see a ghostly band
We are the men who died for freedom across the Rio Grande".

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