Tuesday, 27 April 2010

Bisexuality, the last frontier

How is it different to say, I will not date you because you're Mexican, to I will not date you because you're bisexual? Would you date an openly bisexual person?

Is it prejudice and discrimination or is it a matter of taste?

 The western society has advance a lot in the last decades, new laws to ensure diversity and inclusion, even some traditionally conservative countries have issue some kind of law in that line.  But society still is far behind for acceptance of the other without prejudice.

 The comparison I made I think it's fair enough, your nationality is not something you choose, but something you are born; your place of birth doesn't make you handsomer, taller, skinny, or ugliest and fat; it doesn't affect your personality, since there are people of all different characteristics in a country, quiet, talkative, funny, serious, religious or atheist.  It doesn't even means that you are of certain race.  To generalize about a nationality is basically the same as generalize about your sexuality.

Are bisexuals that different from heterosexuals and homosexuals? are they mentally sick? are they just confused?  No, is the answer of all those questions.   There are a lot of common misunderstandings about bisexuality, let's review some:

Myth 1, Bisexuals are confused

No, it's people's attitudes to bisexuality that are confused.  Now a days, everyone can accept without big problems that a person can be attracted to another regardless of his/her height, weight, hair colour, race, etc.  So, how is it so difficult to understand that gender is just another quality.

 Myth 2, Bisexuals are promiscuous
Yes, so do heterosexuals and homosexuals.  Promiscuity is something about your personal values and what you decide that you want of a relationship, as their hetero/homo counterparts bisexuals are capable of being in a loyal long term relationship, or not. The sexual orientation doesn’t change anything about it.

Myth 3,  Bisexual guys can’t be masculine and bisexual women can’t be feminine.

If you take a closer look around, you will find that there are more than a few heterosexual guys who are a little bit camp, and homosexual guys who can be very masculine. Role genders are diluting little by little and people are learning to be free and express the way they want.  Bisexuality is not an exception, you surely would find camp and masculine bisexual guys, and feminine and butch bisexual women.

Myth 4, Bisexuals have to be equally attracted to men and women

You don't have to be equally attracted to red-heads and brunettes to be attracted to both, and preferring lettuce to liver doesn't make you a vegetarian, so why do some people insist that "true" bisexuals are exactly and equally attracted to men and women?

Myth 5, Bisexuality is a mental sickness

Several decades ago psychiatrist around the world take homosexuality and bisexuality out of the mental diseases, there’s no evidence or scientific proof of that whatsoever, that remark speaks only of ignorance.

Myth 6, Bisexuals are just homosexuals in denial

Sadly, that remark is very common in both, the heterosexual and the homosexual community, mainly due to the fact that some homosexuals use bisexuality as a façade, to help them through the coming out process.  That has affected a lot people’s opinion about true bisexuality.  But that is not true, bisexuals are not in denial, more than homosexuals are in denial of being heteros, or vice versa.

Myth 7, bisexuality is the “easy option”
As noted before, it isn’t, bisexuals face discrimination from both, the gay and hetero community, even when in some people’s mind there’s the idea that it can be more socially accepted being bisexual, reality and statistics show that is not the case.  Take a look at some statistics as the Stonewall's Workplace Equality Index questionnaire in 2009, to see the reality.

Myth 8, Bisexuals have to date both men and women

Some of us are in happy relationships with one partner, others have multiple relationships and some swap to dating the other sex whenever their current fling ends. Some bisexuals are happily married and raising children. Some bisexuals are single, some are celibate. You do not need to have ever have had sex to be bisexual. Some bisexuals enjoy casual sex, others don’t' have sex outside committed relationships.

Myth 9, Bisexuality is just a phase

Is heterosexuality just a phase?  Why people want to describe the things that they don’t understand as minor mistakes? 

Myth 10, Bisexuals is just to be indecise

There's no indecision!!, Sexuality isn't black and white, the world isn’t black and white, as soon as we can get rid of that silly dualistic mindset that oversimplifies reality, the better

Now, people would still be wondering , what if my Partner Is Bisexual, What Should I Do? Should I leave him/her?  Do I dare to date a bisexual?
Probably one of all of the above myths would cross your mind, is he/her going to be unfaithful, is he/her going to leave me for someone of a different gender?

Well, nothing is for certain, since each person is different, but being bisexual doesn't mean these things, bisexual people can and will be as committed and faithful as any other person with different sexual orientation, no more, no less.

So, if you fancy a boy or a girl, you like his/her character, if you are attracted physically to him/her, then why to miss the chance to find a perfect partner for you, just because some prejudices and myths.

Do you dare to give people a chance regardless of his/her race, nationality or religion? Do you dare to give people a chance if they happen to be bisexuals?

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